The roller coaster goes up, and the roller coaster comes down. There's really no news in adoption world, and that's the news. Referrals have been coming pretty steadily around the 25th of the month. Rumors were hot and heavy last week about their imminent arrival, and yet we have nothing. There are actually multiple rumors out there that I have already mentioned that could mean a December referral for us. Unfortunately, there was a new one today that says October referrals may still be a few weeks away. In other words, no October referrals at all. Those would be the November referrals. If there is only one batch before December, it would be even more unlikely that we would be included.
Today, I realized that I am very tired. A deep in the bone weariness that is just overwhelming. I recognize this tired feeling as it's how I feel when I'm depressed, but I'm not depressed. I'm just tired. I'm tired of waiting to parent. I'm tired of being in the adoption process. I'm tired of staying positive about the excruciatingly long wait. I'm tired of well-meaning questions. I know that this feeling will pass. A night out with friends, a good night's sleep, and tomorrow is another day. Just ask Scarlet. But tonight, I'm tired.
4 Comments:
Giving you a big hug!!! I am so feeling the same way as you. This is just beyond horrible. I want to crawl in a ball in the corner of a room and stay there...
Trick-or-treat! Hey Magi, this is not the end of the world, it reminds me of how hard it is in a mother's last months of pregnancy where she is just exhausted and can't wait to have the baby. Or when she is in labor and needs to muster up all the strength she can to deliver. You have every right to be feeling blue. You both have been waiting so very long! Now, you have to muster up that strength. :)
Glad there are no monsters that lurk around your place, "witch" reminds me Happy Halloween!
I just want you to know you are doing everything right! You will have your precious baby, try to focus on the baby room! :)
We're in the same boat with you, feeling sick and tired of all of the waiting and uncertainty! Thank goodness that we are not alone concerning "the wait"....
I don't know what to say except I think it's OK to just feel this way sometimes. I can't imagine the waiting. I really hope a night out and some rest rejuvinates you. Hope you feel better, Magi.
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