The roller coaster goes up, and the roller coaster comes down. There's really no news in adoption world, and that's the news. Referrals have been coming pretty steadily around the 25th of the month. Rumors were hot and heavy last week about their imminent arrival, and yet we have nothing. There are actually multiple rumors out there that I have already mentioned that could mean a December referral for us. Unfortunately, there was a new one today that says October referrals may still be a few weeks away. In other words, no October referrals at all. Those would be the November referrals. If there is only one batch before December, it would be even more unlikely that we would be included.
Today, I realized that I am very tired. A deep in the bone weariness that is just overwhelming. I recognize this tired feeling as it's how I feel when I'm depressed, but I'm not depressed. I'm just tired. I'm tired of waiting to parent. I'm tired of being in the adoption process. I'm tired of staying positive about the excruciatingly long wait. I'm tired of well-meaning questions. I know that this feeling will pass. A night out with friends, a good night's sleep, and tomorrow is another day. Just ask Scarlet. But tonight, I'm tired.