To Whom It May Concern

To Whom It May Concern,

I do solemnly swear that regardless of what you may think upon observing my daughter at play with her doll, I have never:

dragged her by her ankle
jammed her sippy cup up her nose
poured a pretend drink in a stacking cup in to her ear
sat on her head
carried her by her hair
held her by the arms and shaken her
buried her under the blanket.

I do, however, admit that the following actions she did learn from us:

cuddled her
stroked her back
stroked her face
rocked her
given lots of kisses
held the sippy cup to her mouth
covered her and said night-night.

Sincerely,
Sera's mom

p.s. don't you love watching pretend play?