It Wasn't Just a Dream

Last night, Sera cried herself to sleep while daddy held her and hummed Brahm's Lullaby. She was so exhausted. She had only had 1/2 the bottle the nannies gave us and refused water. It was only 7 pm, so I expected her to wake up hungry at some point.

While she slept, I wrote yesterday's blog and Jim ordered dinner for us. We both crashed by 9:30. I kept waking up to check on Sera and because I'm over the beds. I liked them at first, but I think you have to run yourself ragged and be so physically exhausted you could cry before you can sleep for long. I finally caved and got up around 4 am. Sera was restless. She opened her eyes. I tucked her panda in the crook of her arm and placed her blanket back over her. She fell back asleep while I rubbed her tummy.

I've been sitting here for the last hour reading all the lovely messages you have left us and thinking. It is so amazing that our daughter is sleeping in her crib. I keep looking at her and thinking she's going to disappear or that I'm going to wake up.

I've wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember. It's just so hard to believe that day has come true. I know how difficult the journey is to this point. We rode that roller coaster up and down every stinking hill, and you know what? I'd do it all again for that smile.

I couldn't have done this without the support of so many people. My family has been amazing. You know all those awful stories you read about family reactions to adoption or Chinese adoption? I never got that even once. Just 100% support. I appreciate it so much and love you all.

I also want to thank all of you whom I've met through the Internet. Who knew how important this invention would be in my life. Sharing our stories, our pains, our joys has been wonderful. I can't imagine going through this without each and every one of you.

The person I most want to thank is lying in bed snoring lightly. I've been watching him as well as I sat here this morning. He has been amazing. I know that when we started this process, he was doing it more for me. He's in all the way now. I've had no doubts of that for quite some time, but seeing him with her yesterday proved it beyond any shadow of a doubt. After his wiping Sera's nose a few times caused her to cry, he decided to wipe her nose with his finger so it wouldn't be as rough as the tissue. Now that's a daddy.

Here's one more picture from yesterday. She loves to lean up against your face.